so many milestones. i can walk barefoot again. i can stand in tree pose on my right leg or over a minute. (the first time i tried it several weeks ago: 11 seconds.) i can alternate steps up and down. down is not quite totally there, but will be soon. almost as good as new. maybe i’ll come out better. getting the balance back is tricky, and i still have muscle to rebuild.
last monday at the 3 month mark i tried to go back to work. the work was perfect. temp job. mostly sitting with some standing and walking back and forth. it was a massage for my brain as well. alphabetizing. and i got to see a little of the inner workings of the lincoln center development department. fundraising. donations. re-entry was tough. i’ve been content doing my own thing and focusing on healing. i wasn’t expecting it to be so difficult. by the time i got to my physical therapy appointment that evening after the first day i totally had a meltdown. my ankle was swollen and discolored. and much more sore than what had become normal. the doctor was telling me that i might have to go get the MRI afterall. ( i told the podiatrist week 3 no thanks and never went back.) of course now i don’t have insurance. enter meltdown.
as it turned out everything was fine. i just wasn’t ready yet. it didn’t help that i’m about to move and everything is sort of up in the air. and i live in manhattan. i needed a break before i got benched. i was crazy to go back to work during rush hour. it’s just too fast that time of day. and i’m not cut out for a cubicle. never have been.
most important: improving everyday, no need for MRI, i have wonderful friends, a place to live, and a future that is bright and full of possibilities. and i’m walking. like a normal person. strolling is the best speed still. that’s totally fine with me. in september, i’ll be hiking in the woods.