matrimonial mystery

marriage.  someone asked me recently if i want to get married.  (it wasn’t a proposal, that’s actually never happened.)  i’m not sure.  have i abandoned the idea, or am i just delaying it?  perhaps if i met someone i’d like to marry, i would.  maybe if i even had a boyfriend, it would be realistic to spend time thinking about it.  right now, i’m still enjoying my space, and  new york is a great place to be single.  so what’s the rush?  the idea of settling with someone just to settle is unappealing to me.  someone who shares my dreams, or at least a couple of major ones, would be suitable.  and then there’s the 6 musts he would have to meet.

for the longest time i always said i didn’t want to have kids.  i definitely had zero interest in giving birth.  then there was a moment at the end of a road trip several years ago when i thought, just for a second, how nice it would be to take some kids on trips and show them the world.  i still had no interest in giving birth.  then just about a year ago i thought i definitely would like to have kids and maybe giving birth would be pretty spectacular.  (one thing is absolutely certain, i have no interest in lugging a stroller up and down flights of stairs in manhattan.  i don’t know how those women do it.)  of course marriage isn’t necessary to have kids, but i think i would like to have both maybe.   and a lifestyle based on macrobiotic principles for all of us.

i think i’ll find happiness and love no matter what.  i’ll have a garden, friends, a le creuset cookware set, a couple of cats, and lots of books and plants.

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