sugar blues

a friend let me borrow Sugar Blues.  it’s such a great book, i love william dufty’s voice.  in the beginning of the book he recalls his first meeting with gloria swanson, whom he later marries.

she tells him, “i used to get positively livid when i watched people eating poison, but i’ve learned that everyone has to find out for themselves-the hard way. they can eat ground glass in front of me now and i don’t even twitch.”

“go ahead, eat that white sugar–kill yourself.  see if i care,”  she says.

she totally reminds me of my former boss, whose intrepid honesty was often endearing.  she also reminds me of myself.  i used to get fired up when watching people do things in a state of complete unawareness.  but i don’t get fired up anymore.  i just do my thing and observe.  mostly i try to observe without judgment, but that’s more challenging at times.  it’s worked out well for me.

it’s like, “go ahead, eat that processed food.  eat it six times a day, drive through that grease pit fake food window, eat fake cheese or real cheese, drink your cow’s milk and goat’s milk, get drunk and stoned and blow lines, trip your face off (you know you can do that with food, right?), and do it all in excess.  eat bananas, mango, pineapple all winter long…juice them.  drink protein shakes and coffee for breakfast.  be dependent on drugs to alleviate your pain and then complain about how much pain you have, even though your condition would most likely improve from what you put or don’t put in your body and what you do or don’t do with your body.

see if i care.  do what you want.  be happy doing it.

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