change is the most fascinating of all phenomena

did a late summer cleaning.

always start with the surface. sweeping all the dust out from under my bed reminds me how dirty the air is living so close to the BQE. although, all 7 apartments where i’ve lived in NYC have gotten really dirty really quickly. the air here is dirty.

i came across an “autobiography” that i wrote in my Life Stories class senior year at Elon. my immediate reaction was, not much has changed. how could that be? so much has changed. my voice has definitely changed drastically for starters. my friends have changed, my circle has changed. in some ways nothing has changed at all. how can that be?

the most gradual change rests in the deepest depths. the karmic lessons. maybe that’s why the only lasting change must come from within. in some ways i feel like i’m still inside of the cocoon. no matter how deep i go, there’s always another layer to peel. i feel love, joy, and gratitude for the friends who have been/are present on the journey.

from a writing prompt, what i want:

what i want…i want to be happy.

i want a job i love.

i want enthusiasm and energy.

i want to never lose my mind.

i want a perfect boy.

i want to give,

to contribute,

somehow make a difference.

i want my dreams to never end.

i want to be tan

and i want to be healthy.

i want to conquer.

i want to read more books.

i want my parents to be happy.

i want to think about others.

i want to live in Spain.

i want to travel.

i want to go to South America.

i want the earth to be clean.

the craziness to end,

the suburbs to explode.

i want to make art,

and i want to make money.

i want to learn how to blow glass.

i want to use public transportation.

i want the days to be warm and sunny.

i want to see frogs fall from the sky.

i want to eat good food.

i want to not lose touch with my friends.

reality.

maybe someday kids,

a dog,

and a cat.

i want to play.

i want to feel,

want to be,

want to want.

i want to be successful,

good things for other people.

i want to see the leaves change in the fall.

i want to swim in the Mediterranean.

i want a Picasso original.

i want to meet someone i love.

i want to run through a field

of wildflowers

and tumble down

a grassy knoll.

i want others to have good thoughts of me.

i want to look at the stars

through a telescope.

may 2001.

activating

i have been inspired since my trip to LA or maybe it’s that winter is coming to an end. probably both. i’ve been shifting things around, making space for new things, deep cleaning. it’s been great.

before, in the corner of my bedroom i had a silkscreen canvas propped against the wall on top of an applebox. it’s an area of the room that doesn’t get much traffic, but it’s what i see when i wake up in the morning. on the wall i have a collection of images, notes from friends, quotes like “one peaceful world”, “it is beautiful to love and be free at the same time”, “the world is ruled by letting things take their course, it cannot be ruled by interfering”, the list of organs and their corresponding time of day and animal, and my birth chart tacked to the wall. down below is a columbia school of the arts canvas bag that zips full of winter hats, scarves, and gloves. it’s been kind of a stagnant no-man’s land space for too long.

before

i’d been wanting to add another plant to my room. i have a couple on the window sill. i wanted a mother in law’s tongue. in all my shifting and cleaning, i moved the mother in law’s tongue from the living room and found a spot for it on top of the apple box.

after

 

instant gratification. happiness. the space feels like it’s received a much needed activation, total transformation.  i hope the plant likes it’s new spot. i think it’s perfect–the upward tree-energy movement of the leaves changed the way the room feels entirely, not just in this spot. amazing what a little life does for a space.

 

eliminating stagnation

started a new project today. couldn’t figure out why i was feeling a little stagnant…i didn’t have any creative projects of the cut and paste and paint variety happening. i was at  utrecht for some matte film paper and spotted 6 x 6″ wood canvases. now i’m inspired.

screw

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we’ll see where it goes. i think i’m going to need some more canvases.

time and space

time space movement is no joke. i know because i’ve experienced it firsthand. here are 3 examples of people moving in a suboptimal direction.

here’s some background info first:

there are 5 elements. tree, fire, soil, metal, and water. tree (3,4) supports fire (9). fire supports soil (2,5,8). soil supports metal (6,7). metal supports water (1). water supports tree. on the antagonistic side: tree (3,4) destroys soil. soil (2,5,8) destroys water. water (1)  destroys fire. fire (9) destroys metal. metal (6,7) destroys tree.

the map is backwards and upside down.

so it goes like this:

SE     S     SW

E                W

NE    N    NW

don’t try it at home, there’s more to it than this. but here we go:

andrew sullivan.

1-water sign b. 8.10.1963

in 2012, he moved NE from DC to NY. this is what the numbers look like this year.

5     1     3

4     6     8

9     2     7

since he’s a 1-water, moving NE was not the most ideal choice. not ideal because he moved to where the 9, his polar opposite, is positioned. not supportive at all. it could have been worse, but a more supportive direction would have been moving E or SW.

mike d’antoni.

4-tree sign. b. 5/8/1951

he presumably moved to NY from phoenix in 2008. the numbers looked like this then:

9     5     7

8     1     3

4     6     2

he did what i did when i moved to NY, moved towards his own number. it wasn’t pretty for me, and apparently not for him, either.

here’s what i did:

i’m a 3-tree sign.

in 2009 the numbers looked like this:

8    4    6

7    9    2

3    5    1

i moved NE from dallas to NY. i would have been much better off moving NW to seattle (incidentally, seattle was my first choice and exactly where i was wanting to go…although i do not regret moving to NY. i love it here.) the person (a 2-earth) i moved with  NE would have been much better off moving SW or  SE. while he didn’t move towards or away from his number, he moved in a direction of a number that is not supportive.

in 2010, the numbers looked like this:

7    3    5

6    8    1

2    4    9

i moved south to brooklyn. towards my number. consequences were not quite as dramatic because the distance i moved was shorter. the same year, 3 months later, i moved north back to manhattan. again, a short distance, but away from my number. i basically bounced back and forth towards and away from my number like i was experimenting with time space movement. i don’t recommend it. three months later i moved a short distance NE to the UES. what at first seemed like a wonderful move, was actually not. and not just because the apartment had an electric stove instead of gas. it was one of the directions best avoided. no wonder i sprained my ankle and ended up sleeping on a couch for 5 months.

in 2011, the numbers looked like this:

6    2    4

5    7    9

1    3    8

i clearly hadn’t learned my lesson. i moved south, away from my number. and then further south again 2 months later.

i finally course corrected by going back to dallas for just over a month (SW towards the supportive 1) and then back to NY (NE towards the supportive 4) for a fresh start. everything has been pretty mellow since.

cutting chi

sharp edges are painful, especially when you bump into them; but they can also create discomfort subliminally. we have some cutting chi in our apartment and here are some solutions i used:

this desk is situated in a corner. it creates an elevated surface for plants, storage space for a window unit during non-summer months, and storage for extra potting materials.

notice the bare corner, which cuts directly through the center of the round table where we gather. (and directly through the back of the person sitting in seat closest to it.)

by hanging a piece of cork (left behind by my roommate who moved out, thankfully, because i love it) to cover some of the surface area and moving the plant forward so that its leaves cover the remaining edge, the cutting energy is diminished.

another spot with a similar issue :

the edge of the desk in the studio cuts directly across impacting the other two seats at the table where we gather. fortunately, curtains are already in place. they just need to be adjusted so the corner is covered from view.

the remaining issue: the edge on the small white bookcase. i want a plant to cover it, but it’s not quite there yet. it will grow.

consultation promo

just ordered these postcards for promoting consultations this holiday season:

 

 

the person who receives the gift will get an envelope in the mail with this inside:

which of course will have the handwritten names of the recipient and gift giver in white. please pass it along if you know someone who would be interested!

growing plants

sedum seiboldii, or october daphne.

it was just a little thing when it was given to me by someone who thought it was going to die. nice, right? but hey: one person’s trash, another’s treasure. it has thrived on my terrace! i’m hoping the clippings i cut will root so i can plant them and keep them inside. more plants! i need something to balance all the aloe, it really goes crazy.  the other plants are thriving as well.  last week i moved one of the small pots with aloe right outside our door to put some life at the entrance.

it is a nice welcome home.

today, i moved a larger pot out to the first landing.  we’re lucky to have a stairwell with a skylight, seems like a waste not to have any plants growing.

it looks a little diminutive, but it will be basking in the soft light from the skylight and welcoming us home while it grows.  better than the empty space, and it sort of distracts from the dreadful paint job on the wall.  (i also scrubbed the stairs, because that’s not been done (maybe) ever.)

so, we’ll see how they all fare.  the bigger issue is finding some more pots, because there is always more space to fill with life.

one of my favorite things about the apartment when i moved in to the space was all the plants.

so it looks a little different now, but the corner of the room is still full of life.  thankfully, my roommate who moved out left several of them. the large cactus in the center had been growing for 7 years!  i got a clipping from it, and it’s doing well. i got clippings of other plants too, so it’s just a matter of letting them grow. there’s something really gratifying watching plants grow. there’s also something really comforting about a space with lots of plants.